I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
