can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
