So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
