everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
