Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
