I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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