Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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