i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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