Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
What drink are we having for lunch?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize