So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
