Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize