Only a mothe r could love this liver
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
