David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize