sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
