Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
