i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
