i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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