just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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