apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
