if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
