i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
