Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
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