I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
