Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
im calling her cock vulture from now on
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
