Already got asked if we're dating
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
