I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize