since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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