The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
