with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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