Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
