Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Even my vagina gasped.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
