i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
