Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize