just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
soo... how was my night?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
