Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
