I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
