I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
