my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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