but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Oh god it's open bar.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
