Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
