Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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