your thong is hanging out like whoa
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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