your parents love me but you hate me
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I understand Curling. That high.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
