i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
