Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
