I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Randomize
