My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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