So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
