The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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