At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
