READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
