Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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