I hate your face
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I understand Curling. That high.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
