Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize