She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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