If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
FUCK WHALES
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