just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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