Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize